Transition ……. the process or a period of changing from one state or condition to another.
Life is full of them and whether we like it or not we are faced with transitions all our life. Some are quick, smooth or welcomed and others are drawn out, tough or even unwelcome.
Transitions begin right at the beginning of life… we transition from an egg and sperm into a foetus and then into a new born and then a baby and then a toddler and on it goes, you get the idea. These transitions happen naturally, we could resist them but even if we do they occur and generally they are welcomed by ourselves and all those around us.
There are other transitions that we can't wait for, those that are often filled with excitement and potential. Like the transition into a teenager or from school student to a young adult leaving school, from single person to married, becoming a parent, a new job. There are many more but these are a few major transitions in life that are generally meet with optimism and excitement.
They all take some adjustment, they can have ups and downs but we generally embrace them.
Then there are other transitions that we aren't so sure about, I am going through one of them right now, these can be transitions through relationship changes, the transition of loved ones dying, the loss of a job, menopause or the big one I am currently in the midst of........going from the mother of 'children' to the mother of young adults.
I know my transition could be exciting, I guess, but if I am honest I am finding it scary and confusing and confronting and there is no guarantee of what is on the other side. It is out of my control and it is forever. I know it is happening and I accept it but I feel completely out of my depth, it has me questioning so much of what I have done in the past and who I will be in the future. Transition times can be especially challenging because you know you can't go back but you aren't yet sure what is ahead or what your new reality will look like, and you have no idea if you will actually enjoy the new reality.
Transitions can be about physical, environmental or situational change but they are also about emotional change.
The transition phase, the space between where you were and where you are going can be uncomfortable, messy, confronting, uncertain. It is the time in between and often you aren't really sure who you are or how you should act or respond or feel or be.
Acknowledging where you have been, where you might be heading but also how you are feeling now, in the moment of transition is very important. Having realistic expectations (or no expectations) and time frames. Sometimes change moves slowly, sometimes it is our expectations of ease or time or any number of other things that actually let us down. Let it be what it is, honour the transition time, not just the change, not just the outcomes. Don't force it in order to get through it, allow it.
A caterpillar can’t force the chrysalis, a butterfly can’t will it to happen any quicker, it must be allowed, surrendered to and so too must our times of transition.
Get support, don't be afraid to speak up, to be honest about your challenges, reach out to family or friends or coaches for support during these changing times.
Trust yourself. Trust that you are capable of handling the new experience, the new stage, the new phase of life, that you are ready. Look how many transitions you have already successful navigated in your life!! Be gentle on yourself, you are going to wobble sometimes as you adjust, it doesn't mean you can't do it and do it well.
Honour the past and get excited about the future and what it could possibly be.
Maybe it isn't hard, maybe it is just new!!!
Life’s transition….. necessary stages to experience change.